B is for Boundaries

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Boundaries, particularly online has been on my mind a lot the past few weeks. You see despite having had documented and share my life on the internet for the best part of 8 years (woah) I am an incredibly private person in real life. I remember telling Luke this before we we're dating and he was shocked. He said something along the lines of 'but you have a blog. and a youtube' with a puzzled look on his face. I'm a private person. But I have a blog. And I document my life? And I've been doing it for 8years? And I put some of the most intimate things online? Now I'm confused. 

More recently I've been sharing, well me to a whole new level. But when people I know in real life follow my instagram it just makes me a little bit worried. I know. I know. I'm the one putting this stuff up there. I'm the one sharing things like the fact that I have depression. That I have a history of disordered eating. That I'm essentially not perfect. And it is scary, particularly because you feel like you're up against a whole army of perfection. But I also think sharing that kind of stuff is so important. Everyone is putting these perfectly curated versions of themselves out there and I know, at least for me I can walk away feeling more down and less inspired after an insta-scroll. I've been so honest in this space lately is because I feel like it is needed. But I'm starting to wonder if by sharing so fearlessly, have I lost a little bit of me? Have I stopped being a private person? And is that a bad thing? A lot of questions I know! Just imagine what it is like in my brain for a day.

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What I'm coming to realise is that being a private person is likely why I go through phases of thinking I might quit blogging all together. But let's be real. It has been 8 years so it is more unlikely than likely. I want to set boundaries online because I want to honour myself and my wellbeing. I suppose, protect my privacy. So I have this one side of me but also this other side wants to share fearlessly. Wants to be authentic online. Wants to share my struggles, feelings, journey so that maybe it will help. It is a tricky chasm to navigate. 

I recently watched this vlog from The Michalaks. Firstly if you haven't seen their stuff its beautiful. The title of the vlog was 'BEING FAMOUS SUCKS' and one thing that Stef said stuck with me. He was talking about fame and how they have these rules, or boundaries in place when it comes to their channel to essentially protect themselves from this world of fame. "In exchange for your privacy we'll give you a key to a whole new world that will give you something that you've always wanted. And that's a sense of value and purpose" he went on to describe that world as "a cardboard city" saying "theres only one place you can find value and purpose. And that is within yourself". So maybe that is a good place to start. By looking inward. By looking at what you really want out of social media. Asking what purpose does social media serve me? And while you're at it doing a total spring clean of social media including what we consume and how we consume it. I shall let you know how that journey goes! Because I think it is going to involve a whole lot of thinking that my brain just can't handle right now. 

I've spent the past hour reading articles online about boundaries in the age of social media in the naive hope that it would answer the question that has been stuck in my head for the past few weeks: Where are my boundaries online? My answer right now is I don't yet know, but I know what I need to do. It is a choice we all get to make. So it is time to really think, connect inward and decide. Question is, where are yours?

wellnessBrit Hazeldine