the art of gratitude
Today when I was driving to work I just got so fed up with everything. The constant struggle, where as 'others' seemingly have it easy. I was sitting in traffic so angry at life for not going the way I wanted. For it being so overwhelming for me. It just boiled up like I was a kettle. Crying (for the second time on the same drive - third for the day) because panic attacks; I called Luke. And he slowed down my heart rate. and then suddenly there was a calm. A surrender. And I remembered the smaller things. The things I'm grateful for.
Last year June I kept a gratitude journal for a whole month. This year I've really levelled up. From January the first every night before I shut my eyes for bed I've written down three things i've been truly grateful for that day. The reason I initially started it was to try and view things more positively. So that even when I had a bad day I could shift my perspective into something better. And I'll have to say going to bed with a positive head space really has been making a difference to my mental health.
2016 was the year that knocked me down. And I wanted 2017 to be the year I rose back up. I knew it would be a hard slog getting out of the negative state of mind 2016 left me in. I realised that something about that needed to change. I needed a perspective shift. I wanted to get happy again. So I started with gratitude. I'm still not out of that negative state of mind. But I dread to think what shape I'd be in down if I didn't start with gratitude. I wouldn't have sought help, or openly talked about my feelings with those close to me. And I definitely wouldn't be making progress to the girl I know I am at heart.
The power of gratitude is that it helps you see the world in a positive light. And because of that positive things tend to happen to you. Like how the rich always get richer. Isn't it the way. With writing out three things I'm grateful for each night I'm shifting my mind back into positivity. I'm building a better year for myself simply by being thankful for what I have. Oprah even keeps a gratitude journal. So its gotta do some good right?
My advice if you're in a bad space is to start with gratitude because things will start to shift. And you'll see it.
The best thing is, the art of gratitude is wearing off on Luke too. Sometimes as we are hopping into bed he'll ask me what I wrote down and then I'll ask him. And instead of going to sleep feeling stressed about the bad things, we go to sleep thinking of the good and feeling connected.